All posts by glowingharts

Readability

Trimbles chapter on readability explains much on the use of diction, phrasing, and simplicity to make your piece easy on the eyes of the reader. One main point that stood out to me was that our ideas should not be clouded with an excessive amount of words. Often times we tend to cushion our sentences with words so that we can impress our readers by sounding “smart”. Its important that we convey our ideas in such a way, that its as if we were speaking to a friend. Using slang terms is not whats meant by this, but by writing in a way that is sweet and simple will get ideas across without confusing the reader. Paragraph structuring is also of importance when writing. A reader will either be intimidated by having to read such a lengthy paragraph or will simply get bored and stray away from the main points to be made. Short sentences are also okay to use when the few sentences above are long and strenuous. They show boldness and are often used to make big statements.

Adjectives should also be replaced with active verbs whenever possible. Adjectives can sometimes allow the sentence to lose meaning if the adjective is not used appropriately. Paraphrasing is a good thing. But too much of a good thing can prove bad. Every now and again its important to use quotes so the reader can “hear” the words being said through the text, quotes help bring meaning and life to the piece.

Overall I can work on my wording. I should make my sentences as short as I possibly can while still getting my point across and having much meaning. I tend to use a lot of wording because I have yet to master the skill of finding words and ways of saying what I need to say without having to say much. I also tend to write in long paragraphs, so structuring is also another aspect of writing I can improve on. Trimble also mentioned that writers should allow the readers a road map of where they are heading to in the piece. There are times that my ideas don’t seem to connect so transitioning and keeping the reader informed on what im talking about is something else I need to work on. in the end im learning that simple and sweet is usually the best way to write a piece while still keeping the audience engaged and knowledgeable about the topic at hand.

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Outline

Introduction: Opposing viewpoints from critics on the use of anti-depressants in youth.

Thesis: Many critics argue that anti-depressants are a quick fix to the problems our youth are facing. Some even state that they are harmful, possibly even detrimental to an adolescents health. However, over the years numerous case studies and modifications of psychotropic drugs evolved proving exactly why others perceive that you who are suffering from depression are in doer need of anti-depressants, while denying them of such can prove adverse.

Body Paragraphs:
1. Against Anti-depressants:
– Causes youth suicide
– Chemically alters brain
– Negative side effects
– Psychotropic drugs haven’t been tested for minors

2. For Anti-depressants
– Suicide is not caused by anti-depressants
– Chemical alterations are used to boost positive effects in behavior
– Side effects are minor, death is rare
– Many psychotropic drugs have been approved for minors

3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy a common denominator for both opposing views

4. Conclusion

Trimble: Diction

In Trimbles’ chapter on diction, the main idea stated here is that “ less is more”. It seems that we have been taught to write down more words which stretches out the main ideas and points we are trying to achieve. Yes this is a hard habit to break, as I can see this trait within my own writing when I have no clue on what to write. Space fillers it what the unnecessary words and phrases can be considered as. Trimble teaches us that we can get our main ideas across with less words by substituting these “ space fillers” with verbs, and adjectives that are clear, powerful, and specific to the point. Active verbs, which explains to us who is doing what, is the easiest way and most preferable grammatical way for readers to engage in a text with understanding. Passive verbs, which are not usual desirable , explain to us what has been done and states the subject last, if at all. Verbs being presented to the reader should be lively, fresh, and vivid, allowing the reader to imagine what is being done. Metaphors and similes are also great ways to engage the reader in your passage, persuading  them into trusting your ideas, and forcing them to learn more about the subject, believing  that your information is accurate. Confidence is vital to gaining the attention and respect of your reader, so making sure that the context is clear, straightforward, and exciting, shows your readers that you are knowledgeable in the matter and that your text is worth reading.

Revision of sentences:

Original : Probation officers are the main authoritative figure in the centers, however as much as we can appreciate their work, they cannot replace therapist who can accurately diagnose the troubled child and recommend a proper treatment setting specific to the individual’s needs

Revised : Probation officers are not qualified to properly seek treatment settings for the mentally ill children in their care.

Original: With these combative behaviors put forth, these children are automatically categorized as being high risk for appealing to activities that will result in arrest and delinquency.

Revision: Symptoms of mood disorders lead behaviors that consequent in delinquency.

Original : By doing so, many negative situations can be avoided and the individual at hand may be put in a more controlled environment where therapy could be provided and become effective. 

Revision: Professional therapy is effective in treating clients and eliminating incriminating behaviors.

 

 

 

Trimble… Openers, Middles, and Closers

In Trimbles openers, middles and closers, he explores how to create an essay that is strong, clear, concise and appealing to the reader. 

In the opening, trimble explains that the first paragraph needs to ignite the essay. Take off on fire. The first three sentences or so can either allow you to gain or lose readers so it is important to be bold in your opening paragraph. Always be confident in your opinion and tell the reader what you think and why your way of thinking is the logical way. Never approach a piece of writing being timid, this will only lose faith in your audience. Its also vital to have concrete detail and take a stance. The audience must be confident that you know exactly what you are talking about, and will be kind enough to lead them in the correct direction. Openers overall, must grab the readers attention and be so interesting and specific that the reader wants to see what the remainder of the text will be about.

The meat of the essay is also known as the “middle”. This part of the essay is vital to the thesis as it will support the thesis and set the tone of the text, allowing ideas to connect and flow smoothly.  Its important for the writer to know his or her audience. Depending on the topic being written about, the language use must fit accordingly to those who will be reading the passage. However, no matter how intellectual or dazed the readers are, words that are easy to be read and understood are important. Readers like moderation. Things that arent so difficult that they want to give up on the reading, however language that is studious and professional.  Evidence is large in this section of the essay. No matter what suggestions or opinions are given to the audience, facts supporting such ideas are needed to persuade your reader into your way of thinking. Be very direct, confident and supportive in the body of the essay. No matter what, facts and evidence will support even the most obscene thoughts and ideas. Tell the readers what you want them to know and be confident that your way is the only way.  Make sure that your stance is clear, and argument why your reasoning is correct.  Be assertive with your information. The purpose is to get your point across with as little cover up as possible. Be straight to the point and support, support ,and support some more! 

Last but not least is the closer. The closer is extremely important as it will leave lasting impression on your readers about your article. You want your closer to not only continue strongly with your argument, summarizing some main points,  but be the final blast off! it must be memorable, having given the reader the sense that his or her time has been worthwhile.  Emotional impact is important as it gives the reader something to connect with. The ending of an essay closes the text smoothly and with great relief. What the reader has read, has left them more knowledgeable then what they started before.

 

In response to learning these wonderful techniques for writing, i see things that i am able to improve in my own writing. I have made my thesis more concise and i have taken a stand that is argumentative. From reading how the middle of the essay should be written, i am able to revise my essay by taking out unecessary text  and only using facts and ideas that can supported.  Being bold and straightforward in your text also gave me the confidence to want to persuade my reader and not think much about what the reader thinks of my opinion. I want to sell my point of view and show why my reasoning is the best reasoning for the specific situation. Overall i learned a great deal, and can now revise my article using more supportive details and being more assertive with my ideas, but persuading my readers in a positive way as well.

 

Trimble- A good thesis

What is a thesis?  As trimble would describe it, a thesis is not the subject of your essay, however it is A viewpoint of which the topic of your essay concerns. He states that a thesis should be arguable,  so strong  that others who don’t agree with your viewpoint can challenge your thesis, and actually be interested in doing so. It should automatically grab the reader, consist of a vivid point, and be very convincible. Overall, the thesis will be a strong stand that you take on the topic of your essay that will set the tone for the rest of the information to follow. It should flow smoothly, interrelate with research and proof that you have, and convince even the most skeptical critic that your stand is strong and may even be a correct way at looking at the situation. In my article ” The future of children” author Thomas Grisso, explains how mental disorders in our youth are interrelated to the delinquencies in the juvenile system. Grisso, with much supported evidence through research, explains through research how the youth with mental disorders are more likely to be involved in some negative behavior resulting in arrest and eventually in connection with the justice system.  From ADHD, to even the most unfavorable childhoods, whatever the cause may have been, those with even a history of having a psychotic disorder are highly susceptible in being put in the juvenile detention center. The author then goes on to elaborate the role that the justice system portrays in such a situation, procedures that are and are not used, and how  both the justice system and child mental welfare agencies can collaborate to increase the community resources for the mentally disordered inside and outside of a detention center.  The overall point of the article was to make the community aware that a lot of the youth in custody of the system are those that are mentally impaired, and what needs to be done and available to these children in order to start an intervention and prevention of current and future crimes.  From this article, three possible thesis I could use are:

” Making mental health services available, and  affordable in the community, would be an appropriate reaction in dealing with the mentally disabled youth engaging in criminal behavior”

” The rise in youth delinquent’s, have been found to be connected with mental disorders”

” A collaboration between child mental welfare agencies and the justice will prove effective in the prevention of future crimes in youth diagnosed with mental disabilities”

Hello ALL!!

I’ve initially set up this blog because it was a requirement for a college course, however i’m very interested in learning how to blog and broadening my outlook when it comes to writing and communicating with others. As i’m very new to this, any incite  tips or other information you may feel will prove helpful to myself will be very much appreciated !!

Thanks!!

Sincerely,

Mariah 🙂

The Writing Process and The Veteran

What is the writing process?

Most may believe it is the simple task of writing something down on a piece of paper and simply giving it a title. However,  the process of writing is more complex than that. There are several stages in which a writer must go through in order to achieve success in the end. Those steps include: planning, writing a draft, revising, and finally editing your work. First planning will be explained. There are numerous amounts of ways to choose a subject in which to write about. It is important for the writer to ask himself questions that help explain topics that he may care about, or is knowledgeable in. Once a topic is chosen, collecting facts and evidence is appropriate for what will become the “body” of the text. As the writer gains information it is then that the information and ideas need to become somewhat categorized or organized pertaining to ideas and relationships similar to one another. Several exercises such as brainstorming, clustering, or writing in a journal can be useful in the organization of ideas and also very helpful in gaining extra ideas or other topics to help benefit your subject of choice.  Outlining is the most effective way in categorizing ideas and information because it helps set the tone of the text, being able to see a visual of how the text will flow or how it can be alternated. As it has been stated that no writer writes a perfect paper the first time through, a rough draft should soon follow. Writing the draft allows for the writer to become more persuasive and interactive with the audience by adding and or removing details within the text. Peer review is also extremely helpful when revising a rough draft in hopes of making it unique and connective. Grammar, punctuation is both apart of the revising process as well as the learning process for the writer. Last but not least, after all of the planning, gathering of information, informally writing down thoughts and organizing in a such a way that creates literature, editing of the rough draft is comprised which then makes for an error free text. In conclusion, the final piece of literature should be interesting to the audience, connects in such a way that the transitions are almost unnoticeable, and most importantly empathizing.

 

 

The Veteran

In Trimbles “Writing with Style”, it is explained in great detail how a veteran writer actually writes. As a new author, it is very easy to just write down what comes to mind without any hesitation because it is proven to be what the “self” already knows. However, with much practice, patience, and many,many pages of writing and rewriting, the veteran writer shows us how to think as if we were the audience. It is considered to be an honor to make an individual take time out to read a piece you’ve written .Learning the audience can include the language used in the piece, ways to persuade ones way of thinking about a certain topic, and ,most importantly expressing emotions in such a way that the reader could relate to a similar experienced. Veteran writers make their text easy for the reader to read and always puts the readers emotions, interest, and possible thoughts before their own. As a veteran writer, the audience is always right, and the delivery of the text must always be clever and right on time.