Trimble: Diction

In Trimbles’ chapter on diction, the main idea stated here is that “ less is more”. It seems that we have been taught to write down more words which stretches out the main ideas and points we are trying to achieve. Yes this is a hard habit to break, as I can see this trait within my own writing when I have no clue on what to write. Space fillers it what the unnecessary words and phrases can be considered as. Trimble teaches us that we can get our main ideas across with less words by substituting these “ space fillers” with verbs, and adjectives that are clear, powerful, and specific to the point. Active verbs, which explains to us who is doing what, is the easiest way and most preferable grammatical way for readers to engage in a text with understanding. Passive verbs, which are not usual desirable , explain to us what has been done and states the subject last, if at all. Verbs being presented to the reader should be lively, fresh, and vivid, allowing the reader to imagine what is being done. Metaphors and similes are also great ways to engage the reader in your passage, persuading  them into trusting your ideas, and forcing them to learn more about the subject, believing  that your information is accurate. Confidence is vital to gaining the attention and respect of your reader, so making sure that the context is clear, straightforward, and exciting, shows your readers that you are knowledgeable in the matter and that your text is worth reading.

Revision of sentences:

Original : Probation officers are the main authoritative figure in the centers, however as much as we can appreciate their work, they cannot replace therapist who can accurately diagnose the troubled child and recommend a proper treatment setting specific to the individual’s needs

Revised : Probation officers are not qualified to properly seek treatment settings for the mentally ill children in their care.

Original: With these combative behaviors put forth, these children are automatically categorized as being high risk for appealing to activities that will result in arrest and delinquency.

Revision: Symptoms of mood disorders lead behaviors that consequent in delinquency.

Original : By doing so, many negative situations can be avoided and the individual at hand may be put in a more controlled environment where therapy could be provided and become effective. 

Revision: Professional therapy is effective in treating clients and eliminating incriminating behaviors.

 

 

 

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